Extramarital relationships add extra emotion to the dissolution-custody equation( as well post divorce sexual relationships may impact the issues of custody, access and parenting). One spouse's new relationship will produce doubts in the other about that spouses competence as a parent. The prospect of a new parent for one's children frightens most divorcing spouses. The emergence of a replacement parent usually produces concern and great animosity, even if both spouses have acquired new relationships.

Children, especially older children are often extremely disturbed about the breakup of their family. They may see a new love interest as the cause and exhibit powerful loyalties and support to the other parent(seen as the "wronged" parent) and rage at the wrongdoer. The spouses' lawyers are sometimes captured by the hostility. In mediation the process helps clients bring a humane end to the litigation--avoiding a battle that punishes them and their children.

Note: Excerpt from "LEGAL AND MENTAL HEALTH PERSPECTIVES ON CHILD CUSTODY LAW" 1998 West Group (National Interdisciplinary Colloquium on Child Custody Law).

Posted by Pam Macktaz

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Pamela Macktaz and Jean George create a unique team with over 70 years of combined Rhode Island Family Court experience. We successfully assist clients with divorce, case management, parenting plans, memorandums of understanding, and parent coordination in high conflict families.

For questions about this posting or any divorce questions CONTACT US at (401)942-3000 or visit our Divorce in Rhode Island website

Why choose Divorce Meditaion in Rhode Island?

The decision to divorce is difficult and painful. Prior to this decision there have been months- even years of differences which could not be resolved. There have been arguments and angry interactions which have effected the couple and the children. Now the couple is at a point where communication has broken down and each party is unable to come to an agreement.

Mediation helps change negative interaction to positive discussion. It offers both parties the opportunity to speak to each other and allows each a sense of control since any agreement is arrived at with imput and agreement by both parties. During the mediation process both parties can express different views in an environment which provides for civil communication. Mediation avoids adversarial legal litigation which further causes the parties to disagree. Mediation allows for quality decision making and genuine agreement. Quality interaction leads to better communication which will hopefully continue after the divorce.

Mediation is voluntary and confidential.
Mediation focuses the parents on the children and helps them to make acceptable parenting plans which will continue into the future. Because mediation helps the parents to develop safe communication patterns this should enable them to continue to do so with future decisions that they will have to make for their children.

Co mediation:
A team of two professionals meet with the couple. A legal professional and a counselor offers the couple both the legal perspective as well a mental health approach to family conflict. Family conflicts which concern both finances and children can better be resolved. Parent planning will be done in a way which is beneficial to both the parents and the children.

Post Divorce - Parent Coordinating
Sometimes there is recurring conflict and non existing communication after the couple has been divorced. A parent coordinator can help the parents improve their communication in order for them to discuss issues which pertain to their children.

Sometimes the visitation schedule needs to be changed. Children get older and what worked when the plan was first agreed upon no longer is good for the children. Schedules change which results in having to change the plan.

Post divorce parenting can be difficult. A parent coordinator can provide assistance regarding child related issues and how both parents can accept each other's different parenting styles.

Contact our team with questions or to schedule a FREE CONSULTATION at MG@RIDivorceMediation.com or visit our RI Divorce Mediation website for more information.